In the wise words of One Direction, “spaces between us keep getting deeper”. It’s a funny thing, when you notice yourself drifting from someone. It doesn’t matter if its romantically or platonically, it’s always just as heart-breaking, just as confusing, and just as frustrating.
I used to be the sort of person who’d fight it, fight that space I could see forming between me and someone I’d previously have given the world to, wanting to go overkill with my empty gestures to try and fill each of our hearts with love again. But it never worked, because the thing about empty gestures is that they’re empty. You can’t fill your heart with something that’s no longer there.
But I’ve learned that’s okay. It’s okay to drift from people, it’s okay to feel like relationships have run their course, that you’re now ready to move on, thankful for this person, the memories you’ve made with them and the lessons they’ve taught you, but to also have no desire to take them with you into this next chapter of your life.
It works both ways, though, I think, because every relationship is different, every person is different. There are some friends I’ve drifted from, where the space between us is so deep, so wide, where it’s “hard to reach them even though I try” (thank you One Direction), and I have tried, believe me. Some people I’ve lost and have wanted nothing more than to bridge that gap, to acknowledge the space between us but try to re-build across it, try to find a way to connect our new, adult lives across the space created by the damage of our previous friendship. I’ve never managed, and it’s in those instances you have to learn that sometimes, you’re the one that’s been let go. And as okay as it is for me to decide when I want to end certain relationships, it’s equally as okay for the other person to do it too. And it hurts, of course it does, but we’re all just trying to look out for ourselves, put our own needs first and find our happiness, and I will never deny anybody their chance at that, in this life.
Because the one thing I know for certain about all the people I’ve loved, is that every single one of them deserves it.
Space // May, Myself and I - day 21.