Before you know it, your relationship can go into default mode. It’s running on who you were and what you wanted 3, 5, maybe even 10 + years ago, before you had kids.
Except you’re not the same person you were 3, 5, 10 + years ago. You're certainly not the same person you were before kids. That's the biggest reason your relationship changes once kids come along; when YOU change, your relationship changes. Without consciously looking at who you are and what you want NOW, you end up in a rut wondering why your relationship (and your life, for that matter) is "fine"...and that's about all you can say. You're getting through it, but you're not thriving.
Like a boat on a river, your relationship will take the path of least resistance. It will end up riding the current to a destination you either never chose or you outgrew. That is unless you consciously steer the boat where you actually want it to go. But again, that would require you to step out of your busy life for a moment and inquire into what you want NOW, on the other side of kids.
When was the last time you checked in with yourself about what you really want? Are you headed toward a destination you WANT to go to, or are you headed toward the default?
Pictured: One of our walks on the lake, where we have conversations about where we want to steer our boat.
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